Monday, October 12, 2009

Just to clarify..

I'm a little calmer now than I was earlier. Just to let you all know, Jessica is still hanging on.

I don't want anyone to think that I have any contempt for "pink" ribbons. Breast cancer is a killer. It deserves awareness and funding. It deserves every bit of the attention it gets.

The Susan G Komen foundation has made incredible strides in their fight for women's health.

It's just incredibly maddening that our children, OUR CHILDREN.. cannot get the same.

People don't understand how insidious cancer in children can be. How such a monster of destruction can grow inside of such an innocent being. It spares no one.

Most childhood cancers are very unlike cancer in adults. It cannot be treated with the same drugs used in adults in most cases, and when a child with cancer relapses the survival rate can drop from 90% (for common forms of ALL) to a mere 10%. When it comes back, it comes back with a vengeance. A child in remision is not considered "cured" for years, so the possibility of relapse is astronomical.

There are some forms of childhood cancer that start out with survival rates of only 5%, those tend to be the "rare" cancers, like ATRT (brain tumor). So rare, and we've already lost more friends to that particular "rarity" this year than I can count on both hands. It's unbelievable.

Then there are cancers like Jessica's ARMS (soft tissue cancer). She has fought this beast for over 3 years, been in remission twice, and with every relapse the cancer seems to "outsmart" the drugs. This is unfortunately very common in many forms of childhood cancer. The beast learns to adapt and change so it lives despite the toxic chemicals that are designed to kill it. Even one cell remaining after treatment can grow an army of new, "smarter" killers.

This is why we need more funding, new drugs. In Jessica's case, she has tried all the chemo drugs. None of them work anymore, and there is nothing left to fight with. No new drug that she hasn't tried yet to kill this beast. There's nothing.

What are you supposed to do when the doctor says there's nothing left they can try???

You take your child home.
You do your best to help control their pain and fear as the beast takes over their body, robbing them of the most basic of functions.
You spend time trying to explain Heaven to your child and hope they are not afraid.
You try to make enough memories to last the rest of YOUR life without them, like that's even possible.
You help your baby to die with some sense of dignity and peace, as the beast tries it's hardest to rob them of it.

What the hell??? Ok, maybe not much calmer.

I want to see as many gold ribbons as pink. Our children deserve it.

Spread the word.


  1. Hey ... no explanation needed here.On a day that closed, with finding out one of our little loves has most likely relapsed,again ... I get it.I so wish I didn't but I do.We need more people with your passion.Our children need more people with your passion.Thanks for your love and faithful support and advocacy.We love you for it.

  2. Rightfully and beautifully said!

  3. Beautiful. I do agree that pink ribbons have made huge advances in breast cancer, its amazing. But now its time to turn to somthing else, and childrens cancers are in such need of advances. When my cousin told me her son had to do 3 years of chemo even though the cancer was gone in 2 months, because the cancer has such a high relapse rate, I just died.